Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
