Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
