Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
