If i come over, it means nothing
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
