A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
