dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
