as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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