you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
