New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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