your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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