he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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