Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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