the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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