The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
