It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
