I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
