none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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