im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
