Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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