I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
