so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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