The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
