I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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