I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
