were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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