Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
