so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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