Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
