i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
