maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
