I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
