I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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