i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
