I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
