You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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