I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
one might say we're banned from that church
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think people are normalizing furries
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
