Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
