Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
