i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
