Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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