Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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