alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
