I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize