there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
