from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
