I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
