I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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