So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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