dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
