We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
