never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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