It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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