Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
