dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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