Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize