And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
