Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
