Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You are a genius and a whore.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
