Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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