I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
