She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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