I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize