he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my poor anus
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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