just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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