wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
