Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
