I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
