Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
