What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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