i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
