I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize