the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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