jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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