omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
